How Do You Want to Be Treated?

We tend to rise to the level of someone’s kind or unkind treatment towards us. If we’re treated with kindness, respect, and even understanding, we feel valuable and esteemed as though we have support for being our best to ourselves, to them, and in the world.

Conversely, if we’re treated with disrespect, failing to be listened to or understood, then we feel unimportant and unvaluable as though we aren’t worth someone’s effort to treat us well. And so we are involved in recovery, trying to regain our confidence, perhaps feeling low and ashamed because we weren’t treated well.respect

How can you receive the treatment you most want, need, and deserve?

  1. Recognize your need for being treated with respect, to be spoken to in respectful language and tone and especially when there’s conflict. 
  2. Speak up and lovingly inform someone when you feel that you aren’t being treated well. Let them know how you want to be treated. Use words like respect or kindness, honesty or fairness. This isn’t you being controlling or dominating another. This is you learning to validate your feelings and speaking up about them. By setting a kind tone you also invite a kind response. 
  3. Set a boundary for yourself so that if and when you don’t feel you’re being treated with kindness and respect, you will need to do one of two things: One, you’ll let them know and do it respectfully in a kind tone. And two, if they don’t awaken or care to change their treatment of you, you will give yourself permission to quietly excuse yourself. That’s because you know you’re worth being treated well. And also because you deserve to provide for yourself a place of refuge from affliction. That isn’t you huffing off in a fit of rage. That’s you, behaving with quiet dignity, collecting yourself, and appropriately showing self-respect. 
  4. Finally, now that you have become more sensitive to how you want to be treated and you are able to set a boundary around it, look for those people who are both capable and reliable about their consistent good treatment towards you. And surround yourself with only those people. It’s hard enough to be consistent in our own behavior or to expect others to do so. But if, at least, everyone you’re in contact with, is trying to do this, then you and your friends can make beautiful music together! And it’s a better world!

[Read more…]

Should You Give Up Hope Finding Your Soulmate?

The biggest question for those who are older than thirty five and single is more about whether or not to keep hope alive for finding your soulmate. (I know, an awful subject, but I’ve got to bring it up!)

And if you’ve been through a lot of loser dates, you may be thinking, “If I only knew that I would be facing the rest of my life without my soulmate, would I be better off knowing now so I wouldn’t go through decades of longing?”soul-mate_sm

My question is this, “Does it always have to be an ultimatum of soulmate – or no soulmate?” It’s as though we’re betting everything on love only coming in a soulmate package. Do you believe this is true? Can there be precious, adoring, deep, magnificent love outside the paradigm of the person being your soulmate?

I believe this is possible. It is my deepest belief that there is a wonderful somebody for each of us. I have no doubt about it. I’ve lived long enough to see, firsthand, wonderful relationships offering deep love and compatibility as life companions. They include laughter, sharing, caring, and even maturity (Let’s face it, happiness is limited and fragile when only one of you is mature). There’s a lot to be said for love coming in a package other than “soulmate” branded on it. And it’s a package worth opening! [Read more…]

Dissolving the Veil of Love

What if you discovered a secret about love that revealed love is present and available to you at all times and you could experience as much love as you wanted?

veil

But in this discovery, it was also revealed to you that there’s an invisible veil which is hiding these facts from you? And if you could dissolve the veil, you would see and experience all the love you wanted?

And further, that it’s the invisible veil that has prevented you from reaching out for what’s possible in love because the veil has caused you to not believe that love is possible for you.

Let me just say it. Love is behind the veil.  [Read more…]

Do You Need a Hot Extraction – or a Grand Awakening?

In your close relationship, are you stuck? Need a quantum leap, in some new direction, in order to get yourself free?

In the Navy Seal team movie, “Act of Valor,” they showed the team’s impressively powerful ability to create a plan to free one of their people who was held captive in a remote jungle setting. They called it a “hot extraction.” It was impressive with ammunition, skills, brute strength, effective communication, equipment, & a lot of intelligence, midst great danger.

hot extractionIt made me think of some of the relationships I’ve had in my life where I probably held on too long & needed to be rescued – maybe by a hot extraction! It’s hard to evaluate a relationship during a time when feelings run high or while feeling strongly attached to the idea, “It’s just got to work!”

Like the Navy Seal team’s execution of a hot extraction, there are a lot of skills needed to know what to do and whether or not to extract yourself. Unlike the Navy Seal team, none of these skills, however, call for explosives, running, yelling, violence, or shooting someone.

But it does call for deep reflection and quiet thinking about what you really want. And whether you’re willing to settle for less than you want or deserve.

Sometimes we are stuck in “captivity relationships” because of loyalty or fear. Sometimes we just can’t let go. Other times, the love has left long ago but we’re still attached from our time invested together.

hands with heart and light

The real question, perhaps, is to ask if a grand awakening is possible. That would be where one or both partners wakes up and resets the “it’s been god-awful together but maybe we can learn to be new with each other” button. What would that be like? What kind of plan or tools would you need in order to fulfill such a hope? And is it even possible?

First off, you need both parties to mutually and equally agree that they’re willing to work on it at the level of 100%. You need an open, honest, loving, calm discussion about the relationship. There needs to be safe space created to discuss the problems and examples of how and why you feel the way you do. This is where it can get explosive. [Read more…]

The Energy that Attracts Your Soul Mate

If you’re in a state of longing for love, it means you’re stuck.

Usually, when we go after something, we’re engaged in an energy that’s forward moving. This energy is loaded with ideas, hope, & intention. Then, after a while, when there’s little outcome, our energy wanes and we begin to wonder if we can really pull it off? Can we really attract to us what we want or need – like a soul mate? After all, we tried and tried. And nothing happened. Instead of attracting a soul mate, we wind up feeling unempowered and doubting.soulmate-soul-pair-couple-shirt_design

Here’s something that may turn your longing state into a state of powerful attraction.

Have you ever noticed the type of energy people carry around finding their soul mate?

Some people hold their energy in a loud place. They let people know they want a soul mate. They talk about it a lot. Their energy is mostly carried in an outward, in an excited & nervous state. It’s a heightened emotional state but not necessarily a heightened vibratory state. These people may be continually occupied with the notion of finding their soul mate, but it’s more like they’re spinning their wheels, marching in place, not advancing.

What’s wrong with this picture? It’s as though they believe that if they hope for and long for something hard enough and long enough that somehow this will bring it about. This is actually a state of helplessness, pitifully lacking power. You have a choice to advance from this place and to experience a new realm of what’s possible in love. [Read more…]

Is Your Heart Safe to Open?

We’ve all experienced hurt and injustice from others. I’m quick to forgive and move on. Sometimes, however, I get stuck, as I have with a special person, who I stopped caring about some years ago. Without knowing why, I began to have a physical problem. An injured toe wouldn’t heal.cloud-heart

After xrays and consulting with two medical specialists, I felt stuck. The cartilage was gone. I was told that this is what professional athletes experience and to wait and see if the inflammation goes down. I waited for two years. From time to time I did offered myself healing prayer on it. Then recently, out of the blue, I received guidance to seek help from an acupuncturist.

I was astounded at what happened. After the first session, the symptoms changed. It was as though my toe had been dead and then come alive again. And I hadn’t realized it, but the entire area of missing cartilage had been closed off from feeling. Even more, I had a feeling that the healing was much deeper than my toe. [Read more…]

Love is the Most Important Thing in Your Life

Here’s what I wrote at 3:30 this morning when I was awakened.

Our culture is driven by our ego’s needs, which means that if we are important, we have a chance of being recognized as wonderful, great, or admirable.

Yet, hidden from us is life’s true meaning to love. This is not held in our ego’s position, but by our Highest Self which carries the mission to love.

Love is what we live for and is truly the most important thing in our lives, whether you’re a king, queen, or a person who lives on the street, whether you’re poor, unemployed, alone, struggling, old, or just graduated with a Ph.D.

The real mark of greatness is shown through love’s actions of kindness, compassion, helpfulness, and caring. You feel this in your heart. You’re on the right path and in your right place if … [Read more…]

If A Lizard Can Re-Grow a Tail, Then Surely You Can Generate a Soul Mate!

Lobsters and amphibians can regenerate tails and claws based on the scientific principle of morphogenetic fields. Science explains this as an organizing field that actually guides the development of form into being. That means there’s a field that holds the idea of what’s possible in every area of life.

For example, the Empire State building first existed as an idea. Someone first conceived of the idea of an Empire State Building. As the idea was held in mind as a possibility, there was first an invisible organizing field that developed and it later was brought into being.

Of course, there was a great deal of human effort involved. The Empire State building didn’t just appear out of nowhere. But it did follow a certain principle of coming into being. This same principle applies to finding your soul mate. [Read more…]

Ask the Higher Realm to Arrange for Your Soul Mate

Soul mate relationships come at divine Love’s call. In order to find your soul mate, you may need to ask a higher realm to arrange for your soul mate. Let’s explore this further.
Since a soul mate relationship is a sacred one, with divine roots, you’ll want to turn to your Higher Source and make a strong request.

Hold this divine connection in your highest realm as a special place where you go to receive answers, beginning with massive comfort, reassurance that help is on the way, and to have an immediate response with arrangements for you & your soul mate to unite.

This is a different approach than the usual feeling of being all alone in your quest, while wondering if the meet up will ever happen, doubting it’s possible. You aren’t depending on luck or an accidental meeting. (Although often something divine does seem accidental, it’s actually not what it appears to be. These things are arranged elsewhere.) When you consult the higher realm, you’ve invoked power from a spiritual dimension where your great soul Plan can be activated for you. And it comes with blessings of love.

This is going to be a high heart experience. Prepare yourself by beginning to open your heart for love. As you do, you may find that old emotional hurts and wounds surface. That’s okay. It’s time to have them cleared out to make room for the real thing.

Your prayer-connection may go something like this. [Read more…]

How to Choose & Attract Your Soulmate

Sourcing my own 20+ years of my fabulous soulmate relationship with Scotty, my husband, I can tell you it only gets better. But it all begins with attracting & choosing the right one.

Since both Scotty and I previously chose the wrong soulmate, we have learned a tremendous amount. I’d like to share with you what I’ve found that works – and what doesn’t work.

It is your soul which is longing for your soulmate. That’s because your soul is on a spiritual mission. It needs a great deal of help to express itself at a visible level.

So, at the core of a soulmate relationship is each other’s souls. It’s a different type of relationship than any other. It’s one where you learn about the core essence and values of each other (your souls) and you learn to love this with all your heart.

This means learning how to spot signs that your soulmate’s life needs extra encouragement, help, uplifting, and helping them to remember how wonderful they are. You share this from your own heart and vision of them. They get it. [Read more…]